Sunday, June 5, 2011

Reality Bites

The other day, when I was having a particularly horrible day, I got an instant message from my big sister just checking in. (Bad move on her part, unfortunately.) After I barfed up the details of my day all over her she wrote back: "Hang in there. You are strong."

Strong--definitely not a word I'd use for myself these days. Scared, broken, frustrated, exhausted or overwhelmed--now those are words I can resonate with. Strong I can't.

My body hurts. My spirit's broken. I'm mad, I'm scared, I'm frustrated. Thanks to the arrival of summer, I'm having trouble finding time to walk. (Heat exacerbates my symptoms, even if only temporarily.) I can't recall the last day I felt good. And no matter how many inspirational songs I put on my Ipod, how many "you can do it" kind of quotes I surround myself with, or how much I want or need to do this princess marathon, the reality is I kinda know it’s not going to happen.

Strong? Nope. Not me. Not now. But maybe tomorrow will be better.

2 comments:

  1. Strong can also be defined as asking for help when you need it. We love you Susan...rest and vent when you need to. Do I have to carry you across that finish line?! Just let me know...I may need to up my workout routine a bit. One way or another I'm not giving up on you yet! : )

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  2. I have to say that I have enjoyed your ACR segments very much. I also want to say that your comments on the sex abuse scandal have been spot on!!

    Listen to what June said above. I don't even know you or June, but somehow you have made a mark. I hate to say that suffering is what we are all called to do, but somehow it is.

    Get angry with God, but know that God is there for you... Micah 6:8

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