My Love/Hate Relationship with HSM2

If you've noticed that I've been a little bit AWOL on here for the last two weeks, I have a very good excuse--at least in my mind. I have been up to my eyeballs in High School Musical 2. This past weekend, my kids' school put on their production of the Disney movie that gave us the gifts of Zac Efron and Corbin Bleu. (Someone really needs to invent an "I'm totally being a smartass" font. Just saying.)

Anyway, the kids did an amazing job, including my own Maddie, but I swear to God, if I hear "Fabulous" or "Bet on It" one more time my head will explode. Now, I went into this production with a bit of a chip on my shoulder. You see, HSM2 came out in 2007 when we were in Disney. Maddie bought the CD the day before we left and played that CD the...whole...way...home. Now Riley, having seen the play all four nights, has decided to take up where Maddie left off four years ago and has been playing the CD non stop as she performs in front of the mirror in her room.

I have loved watching Maddie develop a real passion for performing and theater over the past two years. And watching that same spark in both Alex and Riley delights this former high school theater performer. But "at least for now," Troy and Gabriella need to go their own way--away from me.

Losing My Mind

I wish I meant that title figuratively. Unfortunately, over the past couple of years trouble with my memory has become very real to me. Like tonight.

"When is Kacey's birthday?" a friend asked.

I stood there, drawing a complete blank. Honest to God, I couldn't remember. My baby, the little girl who can light up a room with her smile, who I love more than anything, and I couldn't remember her birthday. What kind of a mom does that? It's not the first time it's happened. Sometimes it's how much my kids weighed, how old they are--all the things that every mother should know in and out, backward and forward. But sometimes I don't, and it devastates me.

But it's not just my kids. My planner is filled with tons of notes. A dry erase board on the side of our refrigerator helps me map out the week. I have a dedicated calendar at work just so I don't miss an important project or deadline. It's embarrassing when I have to keep apologizing for dropping the ball on things. It's terrifying when I ask Mark something and he tells me we already discussed it and I have no recollection of the conversation. I see the looks from people like I am the biggest flake in the world. I want to tell them that I'm trying, I really am. I want to be able to juggle all the things that moms do, all the things I used to be able to and not have them keep coming crashing down on me.

 

What do you mean you forgot my birthday?

Memory loss is part and parcel of this stupid disease. I know that. But knowing something and living it are two totally different things. I am also very aware that stress wreaks havoc on even the healthiest person's mind, and this week has been stress x 10 for me. There are a million reasons why it could be perfectly understandable that for a brief moment I couldn't remember my baby girl's birthday tonight. But, guess what, none of those million reasons will ever make it O.K. Not for this mom.

Recharging the Soul

This past weekend I did something I haven't done quite enough lately. I spent a wonderful evening with my good friend June and her kids. Our kids are all the same age and they adore each other, which is fitting because I absolutely adore their mom.

My kids also happen to think that June is the coolest mom to ever step foot on this earth. If you want to know why, check out her blog. She's super talented and creative. (There's also a link to her blog on the side of this page under my My Favorite Blogs.

While we were there, we enjoyed majorly yummy pizza and sundaes, created our very own Ugly Dolls, hair bands and painted cupcake banks. It was a virtual craft-a-palooza. The boys chose to bypass the crafting time and instead spent the evening up to their armpits in blocks, Lego's and GoGos--with periodic intrusion from the girls.

As an added bonus, I even managed to get in my workout by joining the kids in a Just Dance competition on the Wii. I breezed my way through the first two rounds of competition, but fell to June's nine-year-old son when he chose to do some sort of Russian dance that nearly sent me into cardiac arrest.

I was pleasantly surprised to come home and discover that we actually had the same version of Just Dance so I can practice for next time. Trust me, in the meantime I'll be getting quite a workout.

As I drove home, the kids fast asleep, I reminded myself that I need to make nights like tonight--good friends, good food, good times--a priority. We all do. These are the things we'll remember, our kids will remember. And nights like this one do wonders for the soul.

My Stuff I Wanna Do Just Because List

I often hear people talk about their bucket lists. You know, a list of things they want to do before they kick the bucket. I don't like that idea. I don't like the idea of doing things because I know I'm going to die. Seems depressing to me. Plus I don't want people to think I was in any way, shape or form encouraged to make such a list by watching that movie with Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman.

I was talking to Mark about my distaste for bucket lists the other night (we have such deep conversations, don't we?) and I said, "I think people should do things because they want to, not because they're trying to cram things in before they die."

"So what would you call it, then?" he asked.

"I don't know. I guess I'd call it my 'Stuff I Wanna Do Just Because' list. Yeah, that's what I'll call it." I like that name. It's says what it means and it means what it says to paraphrase the great Dr. Seuss' Horton Hatches the Egg.

Running the Princess Half Marathon is one of those types of things. I'm not doing it because I want to check it off my list. I'm doing it because I want to have a new adventure. I want to see what it's like. Now, I very well may die at the end of the 13.1 miles, thus making it a part of an actual bucket list, but for now, it's securely placed on my "Stuff I Wanna Do Just Because" list.

And while most people's bucket lists are far more exotic, with things like climb Mt. Kilimanjaro, mine is way more practical. My list has things on it like learn to sew without major injury, try Zumba to see what all the rage is about and learn how to put on makeup so I don't have to keep asking friends and family to do it for all my daughter's plays and recitals. It's not sexy, but it's real. And it's been fun.

So, what's on your "Stuff I Wanna Do Just Because" list?