Because I can not hide in my house and grow even paler than I already am, I have tried to find ways to counter my heat intolerance. But, unfortunately, the options for keeping cool are not cheap, not stylish, and not comfortable.
What are my options? Well, the easiest is probably the cooling bandana. Yes, I said bandana. As in the thing cowboys wear around their necks. It's bad enough I have this damn disease. I don't want to look like I'm wearing an ascot borrowed from Freddy Jones to combat it. No thanks, I think I'll keep looking.
|Yo, Adrienne. How do I look?!|
What about cooling towels? I recently bought one and it works well. The only problem is, I still can't quite figure out how to wear it without looking like Rocky Balboa. You know, when he had the towel wrapped around his neck. Now, go ahead and imagine my children's horror when I walk into the pool looking like this:
The priciest of the cooling options that I have found is the cooling vest. It is exactly what the name implies. It is a vest that you wear under your clothes to keep your body temperature down. You fill the compartments with ice packs. You know, kind of an MS bulletproof vest. Of course, I could choose to wear it on the outside of my shirt, leaving me to look somewhat like this guy. Pretty badass, huh? Except I'm a girl, and I would definitely wear a shirt underneath and wash my hair. Well, you get the picture.
Of course, there are easy things I can do to keep cool. But even those are not always all that easy. For instance, I drink plenty of water to make sure I stay hydrated. But that's not always easy, either, considering that my kids continually ask for a drink of said water. Or, a lot of times I'll bring a misting fan with me. For the most part, these fans do a good job--except for the fact that mine are usually out of water or broken. Apparently misting fans are simply a code name to my kids for water guns, and they also have some unwritten requirement that one must grab the fan while it's spinning to make sure that it can stop and then spin again. News flash, kids. They won't keep spinning if you keep sticking your fingers in them Sigh.
So, while I guess there are a lot of options to help me beat the heat, I still haven't found the one that's right for me. Until I do, you can find me at home. I'll be the translucent creature in the corner.