The "F" Word

Fatigue, people, I mean fatigue. But for me--and others with MS--it's probably a worse word than the one you originally thought I meant. (Come on, don't deny it. That's what first popped in your head.)

Fatigue has been my biggest nemesis since I was diagnosed with MS. The other night I tried to explain it to my son by saying that when I get up in the morning--after eight or more hours of sleep--it feels like I never went to bed. I hate it.

The last time I went to my neurologist, I asked him how to battle the fatigue.

"Exercise," he said.

Excuse me? I thought, resisting the urge to flip him off. Maybe he didn't hear me say that I find the fatigue almost debilitating. I rephrased the question.

"When I wake up in the morning and feel like I've been hit by a loaded semi before I even get out of bed, how do you suggest I proceed?"

"Get some exercise."

Seriously? What is wrong with this guy? Mark grabbed my hand--this time before either my middle finger or my fist were extended.

I left the office in a huff. On the ride home, Mark, being the ever practical voice of reason, took an enormous risk and sided with the doctor.

"Maybe you should try to exercise and see how it makes you feel."

Not one to like admitting when I'm wrong--who does?--I dug in my heels. What do they know about how I feel? It's easy for them to offer suggestions.

A New Chapter

Fast forward to about a month ago to when I was told to start the shots, when I was emotionally and physically broken down, when I needed something--anything--to keep me moving forward. That's when I discovered this and things changed.

I started this blog, laced up my gym shoes and began charting a course for this next chapter in my life. It all came into focus this past week.

I did something that I haven't done in a very long time. With Mark out of town and me and the kids off for President's Day, I took the kids shopping--for a good part of the day. That was after I got up in the morning, walked for 30 minutes on the treadmill and then cleaned the house.

Now to most of you that may seem like whoop dee doo, big deal, I do that kind of stuff all the time. For me it was huge. It was the first time in I can't remember how long I actually had the energy to do something with my kids without hitting a wall halfway through the day or snapping at them because I was so exhausted. And it's happening more and more. I get up quicker, stay up longer, laugh more, have more fun, snap less and feel better.

So I will now publicly and begrudgingly admit to my neurologist and husband that I was wrong. (Take note, this will not happen often.) You were right. I've never felt better.