My Big But

The last few weeks have been a bit rough. The fatigue has been overwhelming--even more so than usual. Every day with this stupid disease is a struggle for me. Days like I've been having make it even more of a struggle. It's very, very easy to hunker down in anger, pity, despair and any other number of moods.

But if there's one thing I've come to learn it's that no matter what mood I throw at my MS it's not going to go away. Being pissed doesn't help. Being sad doesn't help. So I've decided that when I get into those funks to look at the "but." It is my go-to word for when this disease starts to overwhelm me.

For example, every time I feel like this isn't fair, I try to tell myself, "But maybe God allowed this to happen because he knew you were strong enough to handle it and someone else wasn't."

Or, when I get frustated because people just don't "get" it, I try to remember, "But you are surrounded by people who do "get" it. Focus on them."

When my mind starts to wander forward and I worry about things like possibly having to use a wheelchair someday, I stop myself and think, "But then you'll get to jump all the lines at Disney."

O.K., so maybe some of them are a bit far fetched, even though it's hard for my mind not to make those leaps sometimes, but they help keep me in the frame of mind I need to take on this disease day by day.
In short, whenever this disease gets me down, I just try--try being the operative word here--to focus on my big but.