Look Ma, I'm Running

Yesterday, we were heading to my parent's house to help with some things. Bummed that I hadn't gotten to do my morning walk on the treadmill, Mark made the suggestion that I walk to my parent's and meet him and the kids there.

It made perfect sense, but the thought scared the bejesus out of me. My walk home from my parents house one night a few weeks ago had been kind of a disaster to say the least. And this time I would be walking in broad daylight. As in everyone would be able to see and recognize me.

I wasn't certain I was up for it. I had walked outside since then, but I had the stroller with me for support and balance. Thanks to a late cold snap, it was too cold to take Kacey with me this time and I certainly wasn't about to push an empty stroller. I tried to talk my way out of it, but Mark kept on me. "You can't keep walking in the basement forever," he said. "Eventually you have to go outside again."

After a while, I relented. So I bundled up--because I hate being cold, just ask my husband and kids--and hit the road. I headed up our street with my sweatshirt hood up to conceal my identity and my head down to focus on my steps.

Halfway through the walk I made either the very brave or very stupid decision to pick my head up. Despite the cold, the sun was shining and it was actually a pretty day. Spring was poking its way through the ground and beginning to form on the trees. I picked up my pace a little.

Three-quarters of the way, Mark and the kids drove past. They all waved. Maddie yelled to me out the window. My very own cheering section.

Suddenly I felt stronger. My balance seemed sturdier.

"I can do this," I told myself.

And then it happened. I started to run. Now I think the last time I've seriously run was in high school before I had my left knee scoped. But I was running. I'm sure it wasn't pretty. I'm sure it wasn't very fast. But I did it. I didn't fall. I didn't collapse. I didn't make a fool of myself. I did it. And now I know that I can.

That's been the best part of this adventure, I think. So even if I don't finish the race in Disney, I've already done things I've been telling myself I couldn't for nine years. That alone is worth it.